Syrians love their children too...

Photo credits to Open Doors UK

I remember discussing the Cold War with my Dad a while back when I was studying it in History at school, I asked if he remembered much about it and how it affected him. He told me about how the song 'Russians' by Sting drastically altered his whole perspective about the conflict. The lyric which had particularly stuck in his mind and that he repeated to me in that moment was 'the Russians love their children too'. My Dad told me how this simple phrase broke any power the words of the media - which showed the war to be very 'black and white', with all the West being the 'good guys' and all Russians being the 'bad guys' - could have on him. It humanised the Russian people.
Despite this song having been written back in 1985, I feel that with a few tweaks to tthe names mentioned, it is painfully relevant to the current situation of our world.
Find the lyrics here

A few weeks ago, one of the Syrian refugees who has been placed in my town (Witney, Oxfordshire) brought her 10 day old baby along to the baby and toddler group that I work at. I sat and spoke with her and held her baby for a while. He was fast asleep in my arms and as I looked down into his perfect, beautiful face I felt overwhelmed with emotion. I work as a childminder and most of my work at the moment is with babies/children under three years. I felt the same love and joy looking down at this little face as I do with any other baby I look after. He was so pure and innocent and it broke my heart to think of the hatred and violence this boy had been born in to. He doesn't have a clue about what has gone on in his country, no idea of the perilous journey his mother had to make whilst he was still growing inside her; in the hope that she may give birth to him in a country where he could be safe from war.
This experience affected me in a similar way to how Sting's lyrics affected my Dad those 31 years ago. I saw Syrian refugees as people, real human people who are just the same as you and me. It humanised them. Our media does the opposite of this and it is so easy to be taken in by their scaremongering. What our media seems to do is turn these people into terrifyingly huge statistics which, as we know, aren't even accurate half the time (thanks Farage and your delightful bus). I feel that the best way to tackle the refugee crisis is to instead 'zoom in' on individual families and individual people. By doing so, I think our attitude will change from 'how can we handle this situation in a way that best benefits us' to 'how can we handle this situation in a way that benefits them'.
Compassion. Love. Empathy.
It is my hope that one day the little baby boy I held in my arms can live in a world of peace.

But what can I do?

Although we may each feel small and insignificant, everyone has a part to play in making this hope a reality...

 Unless and until we have peace deep within us, we can never hope to have peace in the outer world. You and I create the world. If we can invoke peace and then offer it to somebody else, we will see how peace expands from one to two persons, and gradually to the world at large. Peace will come about in the world from the perfection of individuals. If you have peace, I have peace, he has peace, and she has peace, then automatically universal peace will dawn.” 

― Sri Chinmoy

Big change starts with us. You can:

• Fight against the dehumanising portrayal of refugees in the media by changing your own personal perceptions.
• Write to or tweet (hey, it's the modern age we live in) MPs/those in positions of influence and power, make your voice heard and do your bit to protect others like the mother and baby I met a few weeks back.
• Sign petitions such as these. This one is is campaigning to 'Stop the delay in welcoming lone refugee children' And this one is to urge the government to 'Air-drop life saving aid into the starving cities in Syria'
• Donate to charities such as The Red Cross, Oxfam, Save the Children, World Vision, Open Doors UK (who work with those persecuted for their religious faith in Syria), Crying Out for Calais (a charity set up in Witney which takes donated items such as sleeping bags and warm clothes to those who need them in Calais), or you can browse through and choose a different charity through Find a Charity: Help for Syria

I definitely don't have the answers to what I understand to be a very sensitive and complex issue, but I really believe these things are a good place to start. 

Over the Christmas period in particular it is so easy to be swallowed up by our consumerist society's desire and demand for more 'things'. However, the true meaning of Christmas is hope and love in a broken world, indeed baby Jesus was a refugee just like the Syrian baby I have kept referring to in this post. Let us take this opportunity to give and to love.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I hope it has been vaguely interesting and helpful! Please do comment with your opinions on this crisis, Katie's Corner is always open to discussion :)

Love,

Katie xxx

Coming Back From Rejection

If you have been keeping up with my last few blog posts you will know that I have been auditioning for drama school. You may also have seen how, so far, I haven't been very successful. This has been really tough, and yet I've also learnt so much from it. I would be lying if I said it still didn't hurt a bit or that I've got this whole thing sussed out, but I have had a couple of 'light-bulb moments' and feel that I do have something to share in terms of how to pick yourself up after you've been told you're not good enough and come back fighting - self-belief in tact!

To re-cap: In November I had two auditions. The first was for RADA. Despite feeling like my audition went really well and coming out of there on cloud nine, I didn't get a recall. After this, I had a think over what could have been wrong with what I did in the first audition, I also took on new advice and consequently made some changes to the way I performed my Shakespeare piece and learnt an entirely new modern piece. However, the night before my second audition (which was at Guildhall) I had a bit of a meltdown... I got so worked up trying to guess what it is that they would be looking for, what advice to follow, whether to stick to my original plan or my new tactics, worrying that the things I'd changed were actually the things that were good about the RADA audition! Basically I was going round and round in circles, getting more and more upset, and wasting time in a futile attempt to read the minds of the audition panel I hadn't even met yet. After a couple of hours of being in this mess I changed my way of thinking and just said: the only way I guarantee that I won't get a recall tomorrow is if I let nerves get the better of me; I need to pull myself together, stick with the changes I've made, go and enjoy it and try to get as much out of it as possible! Thinking like this calmed me down and allowed me to have a good experience the next day. As you will have read in my last post, the panel gave me some re-direction which was what I had been doing before I changed my pieces, and I didn't get a recall.

This was certainly a lesson in following my instincts as an actor and learning to filter through advice - only taking on what I feel is right for me. I also realised that just because I didn't get a recall from RADA, that doesn't necessarily mean I did anything wrong. After I received my rejection letter, I started thinking that I must have been mistaken in believing that my audition went well. However, I know that drama schools turn people away for so many different reasons, not just for lack of talent. These reasons range from: your age (they may have felt I was too young), the way you look (if they already have five tall, slim brunettes they don't want another one!), to test how much you want it (these schools like people who are desperate and audition year after year) and so on. Just because you don't get the result you desire from a certain situation, that doesn't mean the whole experience was a failure. Reflect, learn, grow.

For a while, however, I felt crap. It was crushing to have worked to hard for something only to be told I wasn't good enough. Despite trying hard not to, I really took it to heart. I started thinking: maybe I'm not cut out for this, maybe I'm not talented enough, and maybe I'm not pretty enough. I started picking apart every part of my performance, looking for faults. I lost a lot of my self-worth and confidence, I felt small and insignificant - just one more foolish girl trying to 'make it'.

But then everything changed.

I was at church and during the worship I felt this overwhelming sense of God's love. Suddenly I felt my confidence return and the words a friend had said to me after I got my rejection letter from RADA came flooding back: "You will never get a letter like that from God."
God will never reject me, no matter how much I mess up or how flawed I am. He loves me and he made me to be just the way I am. My worth is not defined by the opinions of three judges who spent just 20 minutes with me. They are professionals and their opinions of course hold value in terms of whether they think I'm ready for drama school or not because that's their job! But they don't get to determine how I feel about myself. My worth is instead defined by how God sees me:

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

Even if you don't believe in God or hold the same faith as me, this still applies to you. Don't ever let someone make you doubt your worth - whether it's because of not getting through an audition like me, whether it's because you didn't get a job you applied for, whether it's because you've told someone you love them and they don't reciprocate the feelings... Whatever it may be, that is just one small part of you, one small event in your existence. You are a being made up of many talents and innumerable qualities. Do not allow that one event to cause you to start thinking 'I'm not good enough'.

I now feel I have my 'mojo' back haha! I'm ready to go and kick some butt in my next audition, which was meant to be this coming Monday but I've had to postpone it until the end of January as I'm ill and can barely talk! *sad face*
However, in preparation for this I have written some self-affirmations on my mirror which I am reciting everyday. It feels a bit ridiculous but it really works. As you declare these statements about yourself you start to believe them and so embody them. I've written: I am confident, I am self-assured, I am strong, I am happy, I am friendly, I am capable, I am mature, I am cooperative, I am grounded, I am smart, I am passionate, I am hard working.


I hope this post has been helpful in some way and that you have been reminded of how truly amazing and worthy you are. Let's go out there and smash life together!

Love,
Katie xxx

Sheffield | London | Bath

This past week has been CRAAAAZY! I feel like I've been all over the place!

Sheffield

My week started with a trip up North to visit my friend Niamh who is currently studying History at the University of Sheffield. This was a journey which involved a lot of 'firsts' for me; it was the first time I'd travelled that far on my own, the first time I'd ever been to Sheffield, and my first experience of Uni life! All three of these things were great!

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I've struggled with bad travel anxiety for several years now. Travelling on trains has been one of my worst fears. If at any post over the past six years or so, I knew I was going to have to use a train or the tube I would dread it for weeks and would often have panic attacks when in train stations or when on a train. However, it's something I've been working on and - mainly thanks to LP - I managed all my train journeys last week with zero panic or anxiety!!! I don't think I could possibly express in words just how much of an achievement that is for me. WOOOOHOOOO. So, much to my surprise, I actually quite enjoyed my journey up to Sheffield (except for the bit where I had to change trains at Birmingham and had only 3 minutes to get from Platform 5 to Platform 8 so ran through the station like a lunatic, but I think anyone would find that stressful!)

Oxford Station

I had a lovely time with Niamh - we went shopping (I spent too much money), I met her flatmates who were lovely, we went out for drinks, ate the best jacket potato I've had in a while, and went to see 'Boris: The Musical' which was 'interesting' to say the least. It was a musical all about Boris Johnson and was quite possibly one of the most hilarious and also mentally scarring experiences of my life haha! 

So cute!

Beautiful Sheffield

Lift selfie with Niamh!

Girl Power

My trip was finished off by a lovely walk through the woodland park. We saw many a squirrel!

Candid shot of Niamh walking through the winter leaves

Sheffield was such a beautiful city and I loved my time there (more than I was expecting too if I'm completely honest) - as a place to visit I don't think it's given enough credit. My first taste of Uni life was also a success - I have no horror stories to report lol. Niamh's accommodation was fab and the Sheffield Student Union was great too. I shall be back (sorry Niamh, you thought you were rid of me).

Sheffield Station

London

On Wednesday I had my second drama school audition, this time at Guildhall School of Music and Drama. This of course meant another tube journey into Central London. Now that I'm overcoming my fear of the Underground, this part wasn't too bad. What was horrible was the fact that I had to leave my house at 5:30am when it was -7°C!!!!! Pretty sure I nearly died.

This audition was another good experience. What was especially nice about Guildhall was that there was a warm-up/workshop session before the individual auditions started which gave me a chance to loosen up, meet the panel, familiarise myself with the audition room, and to get my head in 'the zone'. It also meant that although I didn't get through to the next round, I really felt that I got something from the day. 

The panel were lovely and the interview section of the audition was a real pleasure as it was a conversation rather than an interrogation. However, something that was frustrating was that I had changed the way I did one of my monologues and after I had finished performing it, the lady on the panel gave me some re-direction and what she asked me to do was LITERALLY WHAT I HAD BEEN DOING BEFORE I CHANGED IT. So annoying. But I think it's a lesson learnt that I should go with my instincts in future and not overthink things too much. The other thing was that I felt the man on the panel had almost made his mind up about me before he'd even seen me act. This was due to the fact that in the workshop he talked for about 5 minutes about how he tries to discourage 18/19 year olds from going to drama school as he feels they need more life experience first. I hope this wasn't a factor however, as I think that it is a subjective viewpoint and that other professionals would hold the opposite opinion. Who knows!

Beautiful sky views as we drove home listening to Lewis Watson's new album

Bath

The end of my week was spent in beautiful Bath! I was there visiting my wonderful friend Beth who is studying Pharmacy at the University of Bath. She met me at the station and after many hugs and squeals at being reunited, we spent a couple of hours going round the Christmas Market and the shops. I got some Christmas shopping done and also bought a few treats for myself!

Katie and the Small Blue Suitcase hit the road again

Like Niamh, Beth's accommodation was great and her flatmates were so amazing and made me feel very welcome. I joined them all for an evening celebrating the birthday of one of Beth's course-mates: dancing around to 'Cheap Thrills' was the main activity of the evening which was, of course, fine by me! 

Gals

I miss Beth again already and can't wait to see her when she comes home for Christmas in a couple of weeks! 

Phew. So last week was a bit mad. I conquered fears, rode a rollercoaster of emotions, and explored three fab cities.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my lil' adventures.

Love,

Katie xxx