Spring Has Sprung!

There's been a couple of things going on with me at the moment that I've been grappling with. I realised that both are about change and new beginnings - this seems quite appropriate as we find ourselves in Spring! Today I want to talk about these two things and first to share the recipe for some Spring inspired cupcakes that I made last week because I always said I'd do some baking posts and this seems like a fun way to start!
If you want a soundtrack as you peruse this blog then click here... My main man, Sinatra, singing 'You make me feel so young, you make me feel that spring has sprung!"

Spring Garden Cupcakes

It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago and my very lovely friend Livi bought me some of the cutest baking supplies you ever did see. This included flower pot cupcake cases, flower icing cutters, and a piping bag set. These things really added to the effect of this super cute and easy baking idea.

Ingredients:

• 100g margarine
• 100g caster sugar
• 100g self-raising flour
• 2 eggs, beaten

Method:

1. I used my favourite fairy cake/cupcake recipe which comes from the book 'Cooking with Daisy' by Josie Klafkowska. All you need to do is cream together the marg and sugar until they are pale and fluffy.
   
2. Add the beaten eggs gradually, mixing well each time.
3. Sieve the flour into the mixture, folding it in. 
   
4. Finally spoon the mixture into cupcake cases and bake them in an oven heated to 190°C (170°C fan) for 20 minutes approximately. Or until they are golden in colour, spring back when you tap them and are coming away slightly from the edges of the cases.
   
5. When they are cooked, take them out of the tray to cool on a wire rack.

Next up is the best part... decorating!

Ingredients:

• 140g butter
• 280g icing sugar
• 1-2tbsp milk
• a few drops of green food colouring

Method:

1. Beat the butter in a bowl until smooth and then gradually sieve the icing sugar in to the bowl and beat as you go.
2. Add one tablespoon of milk and beat again until smooth. Add the second tbsp if needed.
3. Pop in a few drops of green food colouring and mix well. Keep adding the colouring until you get the desired shade of grass green!
4. The icing definitely looks nicer piped on to the cakes so try and do this if you have a piping bag. Unfortunately I ran out of time so had to go with more of a smeared effect... let's call it 'rustic' lol.
   
5. For this next step I required the expert advice of my pal Lizzy who is an incredible baker. Check out her blog 'Tartlife' here, it is amazing by all accounts. Anyways, she suggested that I use shop-bought fondant icing to make my flower decorations, rolling out the icing thin (thin enough to dry out but not so thin that it became too fragile to use). So this is what I did. I rolled the icing out thinly and cut the flowers out using my cutters and then left them to dry out for a while. 
   
6. I also kneaded some red food colouring into some of my icing to make it pink so that I could have some variety in colours. Alternatively, you can buy ready-coloured icing or just stick with the white.
   
7. I then used a very small, clean paint brush dipped in yellow food colouring to paint a middle to my flowers. 
   
8. When I was in the shops buying my icing, I spotted these absolute gems and just couldn't resist! TOO CUTE. So to finish off the cakes I stuck on some flowers and an icing animal to each one. 
   

The finished product!

Right, now on to the deep stuff lol.

So, as I said at the start of this post, I have some changes going on at the moment that I'm trying to process. The first involves a specific person. I think it's harder to deal with change when it involves another person because you have to rely on them handling the situation well too. I can't control how this person behaves following this change but I can do my best to focus on myself and how I'm feeling. Last night and this morning I sat down to write them a letter. I do not intend for them to ever read it but it was a very therapeutic way for me to process everything that's going on in my head! This may not work for everyone, but for me writing things down really helps me (hence why have a blog!). I've been able to work through everything that I'm thinking and feeling so that it's no longer a big jumbled mess in my brain! There are some things that I've wanted to tell this person but haven't been able to and, although they won't read it, by writing it all down in this letter it feels like I've got it off my chest. It wasn't easy digging up some emotions that I've been trying to ignore and for a while afterwards I felt this sort of pain in my chest but I'm glad I did it and feel I can now move forward easier. I also didn't realise how much I needed to get out... I filled 10 pages of my notebook! I'm now feeling a lot lighter. (If you're not a Harry Potter fan, this reference will go straight over your head, but this process really reminded me of Dumbledore and his Pensieve!)

Something I've also found a real encouragement in this area is the reminder that God will never give up on me. People will let us down, people will decide we're not worth it - but God  never will. He loves us unconditionally and is in constant pursuit of our hearts. 

"You hold the heavens but never let go of my heart!"

The other thing that's been weighing on me is my move to Brighton which is coming up in September. I've still been worrying that it's not the right thing for me to do and so this weekend my Dad and I headed down there. I wanted to remind myself why I originally wanted to go there and to get excited about moving to that city. I'd say my trip was definitely a success! When visiting before, I'd only really seen the Uni campus which is a bit 'out on a limb' from the city and so we spent some time actually in Brighton itself.

Brighton Pavilion and some fab street musicians

I completely fell in love with the place. 

Two happy beans on a v windy beach lolz

It has all shops and facilities you could need and more, but it also has real character - what with the Lanes full of quirky independent shops and cafes, the stunning Brighton Pavilion, and of course the beach! I can really see myself heading off for a walk along that pebbled shore if I ever feel stressed and need to find comfort in the sounds and sights of the sea. 

Despite the fact that my trip has definitely helped me to feel excited about my move away in September, I am still terrified! But I'm working through this and I think I'll get there. As usual, it's my faith that's getting me through. I know that God has a plan for me and that all I need to do is trust in him. The sense of peace that I had in Brighton was a real confirmation that that is where he wants me to be. 

I picked a pebble that took my fancy from Brighton beach and have brought it home with me. Partly as a reminder of how much I loved that beach so that if I ever feel stressed about moving there I can hold it and remember that it's going to be amazing, but also as a reminder that although - in the grand scheme of the world - I am about as significant as one little pebble on that huge beach, God cares about me and has a path laid out for me and will never let me go no matter what. 

my lil peb

"How precious are your thoughts about me, God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me" - Psalm 139: 17-18

Although changes like these can be really hard, try to look at the positives. I'm getting into the spirit of Spring and am seeing them as fresh starts/new beginnings/a new season in my life!


Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post and that you perhaps found it helpful in some way: maybe you'll have a go at making the cakes, or have related to the changes I'm experiencing at the moment.



Love,
Katie xxx

Menstruation Frustration

Uh-oh here we go... Katie's Corner is tackling another taboo subject! This is awkward to write about but I think that it is so vital that this topic is talked about more. If I can help someone by writing this then it's definitely worth any awkwardness or embarrassment I may feel!

Today we're chatting periods. Menstruation. That time of the month. Mother Nature's Monthly Gift. Whatever else you may wish to call it! I want to tackle some of the misconceptions and big questions head on. I'm going to be talking about what to expect if you've not started your period (because what you get taught at school is pretty useless), what women want men to know about this subject, why I'm a Clue Ambassador and what this means, and some general points about the joys and horrors of this part of a woman's life.

A blessing or a curse?

 Periods are often messy, painful, and highly inconvenient but I think it's important to remember that they are also amazing. They are part of the process of creating new life and that is something that should be celebrated. Even when I feel like my womb is trying to murder me, I feel a sense of pride in my body and it's ability to do it's job properly. I also hope that I will one day have children of my own and that I will then feel it has all been worth it!
A close friend of mine has made the decision not to have children - it must be nightmare going through all this for literally nothing. I should be grateful that I do have something to use as motivation for getting through the tough aspects of it all, because boy oh boy can there be tough aspects! No one would choose to be emotional, nauseous, fatigued, and in pain etc. because it's not fun. Sometimes nothing can really help you accept it. For example, a couple of months ago my period was so bad that I threw up... ON A DATE NO LESS. Yes, it's fair to say that no amount of thoughts about cute future babies were going to make that situation better!
For me, I think it's important to have a balance of loving your body and appreciating the job it is doing, whilst also allowing yourself to wallow in feeling crap and binge eat all the chocolate you could want!
Something/someone that I've found helpful for dealing with all the highs and lows of periods is the YouTuber Melanie Murphy and her 'PMS Party' video series. She is so funny and easy to watch and she tackles all the big questions and issues with charm and wit. Watch these fab videos here!

What to expect when you're expecting... your period

I'm afraid there isn't an easy answer to this. The truth of the matter is that every woman is different and therefore every woman's experience is different. As annoying as this is - because it would be handy if you could prepare for what is coming and to be able to understand exactly what is normal when you are experiencing it - I believe that saying 'every women's experience is different' is honestly the most comforting and helpful thing I can say! This is due to the fact that at school you are taught specific facts such as: most girls will start their period at around the age of 13, your cycle should last about 28 days etc. It can then be very daunting if you don't fit the 'norm'. For example, I was the last of all the girls I knew in my school year to start my period and so for a couple of years was worried there was something wrong with me. Indeed, when mine did start I found that my cycle lasts between 35-48 days and so after worrying for ages, I eventually went to the doctors a year ago. My GP literally looked at me like 'umm babes why are you here wasting my time??' She told me that there is actually a large range to 'normal' and that she wasn't worried about me at all. What I'm trying to say is don't be alarmed if your 'normal' is very different from the 'normal' of your friends and family, or what you're told at school. Although, of course, always go to the doctor if you are worried about something - better to be safe than sorry y'know!

Putting the 'men' in 'menstruation'!

If women like myself grow up without all the necessary information for understanding periods then men don't stand a chance! Whilst researching for this blog I discovered that "Most adults still have a junior school level of education about sexual health and the female body" - medium.com

So here are just a few little pointers for you fellas that the gals in your life want you to know:

• The last thing a woman wants to hear if she's ever in a bad mood is 'Are you on your period?' JUST. DON'T. DO. IT. It is the one thing that is guaranteed to wind her up further! Just made her a cup of tea or something lol
• Whilst we're on the subject of emotions, I think it's a common misconception that every woman's hormones will cause her to have mood swings when she is on her period. This is not the case, however. For a lot women it simply appears to be this way because when one is in pain, one's tolerance levels are significantly lower! Just be sensitive to the fact that, during their time of the month, women may not necessarily be in a bad mood but are probably still not going to be feel up to the usual level of banter!
• On average, a woman will use 11,000 tampons or pads in her lifetime and considering they cost - on average - £3 for a pack of 20, you can understand why we complain about having to buy them all the time!
• PMS (premenstrual syndrome) usually occurs a week or two before the bleeding starts so most women go through two lots of having swollen or tender breasts, upset stomach, feeling tired, depression, anxiety, changes in appetite and headaches etc. in a month. Therefore, a woman may not technically be on her period, but is still going through the same nasty symptoms - and is consequentially as sensitive as when she is bleeding.
• I can't word this next point any better than Phylisa Wisdom did for thedatereport.com so here's what she said: "Now, as for whether it’s gross: yes, it is. It is the lining of a uterus. If you’re generally squeamish in life, you’re likely to be squeamish about this. Sometimes it has chunks. Sometimes it has a subtle but unique period smell. Sometimes it’s messy and slimy. It’s okay to feel a little funny in your stomach when you think about what it is, but it doesn’t mean it’s okay to think women’s bodies are disgusting. Because we’re fertile reproductive goddesses and this comes with the beauty of creating life. Namaste."
• Every woman has a personal preference when it comes to the collection method they opt for. Some will use tampons, others will use pads, some go for menstrual cups... it just depends on the individual. There is also a vast variety of brands, sizes and styles so if you ever find yourself in the position of having to purchase some for a sister or girlfriend or someone then for heavens sake, check what brand and size etc... because it matters!
• There are loads of things I could say, but just watch this Buzzfeed video entitled 'Men Explain Periods' because it is actually MAGIC! I can't remember the last time I chuckled so much. My fave part might be: "What causes cramps?" "Is it because the egg is big?" TOO FUNNY. Anyways, check it out for yourself here.
• Another good resource is 'The Manly Guide to Menstruation'. Find it here.

Give us a Clue?

First off I suppose I'd better explain what Clue is for those of you that don't know. It is a period tracking app. This means you can download it onto your phone and, from the information you give it, it can track and predict your menstrual cycle. This is so, so handy! It means you're always prepared and can keep track of any patterns or health concerns. I originally downloaded it when I was first considering going to the doctors about my period. I knew that it always took ages to come but wanted to go to the GP with some actual figures! I was able to show them my phone with my past 6 months of cycles recorded on it. However, after that appointment I realised that I just found it so helpful and so I have continued to use it since. You can simply tell it when you are on your period or you can give it loads of information - from how your mood is, to your digestion, to how your skin is. All this can be really helpful for working out how your body works and what is normal for you.

Aside from the app, Clue is also an organisation which works tirelessly in research and education regarding women's sexual and reproductive health. As a result of this, their app contains loads of really helpful information about every aspect of the menstrual cycle and their emails are some of the few that I actually read and don't just shift to junk mail... they are actually so interesting!

Because I love the work that Clue does and think it's really important, I applied to be a Clue Ambassador last July. This is part of the description I was sent when I was accepted:

"The #ClueVoices community is all about informing, advising and supporting each other. We've created a Facebook Group where Clue Ambassadors can connect with each other, and with the Clue Team. 

We look forward to growing this community with you - a community of people who want to push menstrual and reproductive health forward. Let's make the world more informed and less ashamed of menstrual health together."

This blog post is me finally doing my job as a Clue Ambassador... it's taken me a while haha!

It is nice to see that periods are being spoken about more these days; for example during the Tampon Tax debacle, both men and women spoke out with indignation. If you're unfamiliar with the 'Tampon Tax' issue, essentially it is the fact that sanitary items are considered to be luxury items (as opposed to essentials) and are therefore taxed, whilst items such as men's razors are considered essential and so are not subject to VAT. This is of course very frustrating for all women but makes these items even less accessible to homeless women or women on low incomes who often have to make the choice between eating or having sanitary products. It would be interesting to see the carnage caused if women stopped using sanitary products... I wonder how quickly they would be viewed as an essential then haha!
It is so encouraging to see people finally begin to stand up for women and issues regarding menstruation - I hope it continues! There is still a long way to go though with regard to education about menstruation (ooh. nice rhyme kates) so I for one am going to keep harping on about it even if it makes other people uncomfortable!



Please, if any of you have any questions: be that if you're a girl who hasn't started your period, a man who wants to understand it more, or a woman wanting to know more about Clue then get in touch! I'm more than happy to talk about it (as you've probably gathered).

Thank you for reading, despite it being a bit of an awkward one.

Love,

Katie xxx

Things I'd tell my 13 year old self...

I wonder if I am actually old enough to claim to have gained enough worldly knowledge to sit here and preach to my younger self. I’m sure in a few years’ time there will be plenty I wish I could have told my 18-year-old self. For now however, I do feel that having come through my teen years, there’s a lot I wish I could have known before embarking upon them. 

My 13th Birthday. Puberty did good, hun.

To my 13 year old self,

 

Friends

You've forever been a sociable little bean, always wanting to be everyone's friend and to please everyone. In many ways this is a great quality and has blessed you with many wonderful friendships. However, it is not possible to please everyone and make them like you. I know you really take it to heart if someone doesn't like you, but it's time to learn that it is inevitable and that you need to simply put your time and energy into the friendships that you do have - the people that really matter. Invest your love in people who care about you and you can't go too far wrong.

I'm proud of how hard you love your friends, that you are loyal and stand by them regardless of whatever they're going through. Keep it up because people remember it and thank you for it later. You also need to learn, however, that you can't fix people's problems all the time and that sometimes people don't want your help. Accept that on occasions you will need to take a step back and let friends do their own processing.

Sometimes it's okay to fall out with people. You hate this so much I know! But you have to understand that people grow and develop a lot emotionally during their teen years - as well as physically. People who you thought you'd be chums with forever will change (and so will you) and so you may not 'fit' as friends anymore. This will be really painful for you at times but just remember that these things happen for a reason; as some leave your life, others will enter it. 

Something really lovely that has happened is that a couple friends that you felt you were losing at 13, came back into your life at 17 or 18. Again, people grow and change and mature and, when you're ready, you can come back together even stronger than ever!

 

 Boys

I wish I could go back in time and break the news to you that you don't get a boyfriend in your teen years so that you could perhaps forget about them and crack on with your life! But I don't think there would be any point... you are a dreamer and a romantic to the core. Although it was all a massive waste of time, having crushes is fun - and I suppose that day-dreaming about being whisked off your feet by the boy sat next to you in Maths does help make the time pass by a bit quicker! It would be nice if you were able to relax about the whole thing a bit though, trying to uncover the workings of the teenage male mind is exhausting and futile!
Despite the fact that, where you are now, it feels demoralising and depressing to always be the 'best mate' and never the girlfriend, this is such a blessing in disguise. I know you literally feel like Taylor Swift in 'You Belong With Me' with boys complaining about their nightmare girlfriends whilst you're sat there thinking 'EXCUSE ME I AM RIGHT HERE AND I WOULD TREAT YOU BETTER THAN HER', but trust me, it works out so much better. I am blessed with many amazing friends now who are guys - some of which being people you are obsessing over at age 13. I don't know what I'd do without them; I love being 'one of the lads' as well as having girlie time with my gals.
Now that I'm older and it actually matters a bit more, it is invaluable having male friends to provide me with that insight into the workings of the male mind that you are desperately trying to uncover! Perhaps if you were better in the romance department than that of friendship, I wouldn't have so many amazing men around me now to make me laugh, exasperate me, and give me the best advice on the daily. (Big shout out to my boys: Fin, Oscar, Joe, Jacob, Callum, Raymond, J-RO... I'd be lost without you).

 

 The Internet

Okay girl, I seriously need to give you a heads up here. As Mum and Dad didn't have the internet growing up, you're having to navigate your way through this madness alone! On the whole, you are coping pretty well. However - as you will learn the hard way- there are certain things which aren't advisable... For example, if you don't know what something means, just Google it and find out for yourself, don't post it in a Facebook status for the world to see! You WILL be publicly humiliated!  Yes, your older self is still scarred by THAT incident.
Social media is great: it's a lot of fun and will keep you connected to people you don't really see anymore, but for heavens sake just remember that people don't need or want to see everything that happens in your life. Always be selective and sensible. Oh and just you wait for Snapchat... you are not prepared for the joy those filters are going to bring to your life.

 

Chill the heck out!

Hindsight is wonderful and I know that it's very easy for me to say this now that I'm not longer in those situations... but you honestly can afford to stress a lot less than you are at the moment. Although the education system is supposedly designed to open your eyes and mind to the world, it can in fact be very narrow minded. Looking back I can see that you are being taught that success in life is determined by grades and money, that there is only one right way to do things, and that the world revolves around what you do at school. Don't get me wrong, I know you love school and you will continue to do so, but since leaving I feel like restrictions have been lifted. My eyes have been opened to the things that really matter and to the immeasurable amount of opportunities that life really has to offer. You've never been much of a rebel and I don't think that's ever going to change, but all I'm really trying to say is that if you hand your homework in late a few times, it really won't matter a jot in the grand scheme of things ha!

 

Be You

I just want to tell you: you've got this. I'm pretty sure that the teen years are designed to test you, embarrass you, shape you, and drive you insane - so you're never going to get through them scot-free, yet I think we turn out alright... Well, we certainly could be a lot worse! My best advice for you: pray and trust God with everything, be yourself, own your quirkiness, laugh as much as possible, and keep hopeful... You survive it, I promise!

With love,

Your older self  xx

 

As always, thank you so much for reading and please follow - I'll be eternally grateful!

Love,
Katie xxx

Decision Time

Here we go, it's decision time.

Recap

If you've been following my blog for a while you will know that I am currently on a gap year and have been thinking a lot about where I'm heading come September. Just to recap: I have a place at the University of Brighton to study Primary English Education with QTS (meaning I'll leave as a qualified primary school teacher, specialising in English), but this year have also been pursuing my other passion by applying to drama school.
I haven't succeeded in getting into drama school this year which has, on the one hand, been really tough, yet on the other hand it has been an amazing experience. I have learned so much and feel I have grown as a person and as a performer. However, as I have spoken about on here before, it is still a painful experience to repeatedly be rejected in the fairly ruthless way of the acting industry. I am still processing it and working through it, but definitely getting there!

Options

1. Stick to plan A and accept my place at Brighton, go to University this year, get my degree, join drama societies at Uni, continue to audition whilst I'm there, try to get onto an MA course at a drama school after I've finished my teacher training.
2. Withdraw from my place at Brighton, stay at home and apply for drama school again, throw myself into my auditions completely and hope that the experience I've gained this year will help, increase the amount of paid work I'm doing as a lot of it is voluntary at the moment. For example, the school for children with Special Educational Needs that I'm volunteering at have said that if I were to stay gaining experience with them, I could get a paid job there in September.
3. If something entirely different happens between now and September!

What I'm leaning towards

At the moment the option that I'm leaning towards is option number one. The audition process has shown me that I'm perhaps not quite ready for the whole world of drama school and the acting industry. It is very cut-throat and I feel that there will be a lot of benefits in me taking some time to grow and toughen up a bit! Indeed, those that I know who have gone to drama school have said that very few people get in on their first try - especially if they're young - because the schools want you to have had more life experience. Well then, I'm going to go out there and get some life experience!
 I also feel that I don't want to miss out on the University experience that I've seen my friends enjoying this year, or even if I didn't miss out entirely and went in a couple of years time - I think I'd find it hard being several years older than my peers.
Despite it having always been my dream to be a performer, I have also wanted to be a teacher since the age of four. It is a degree and career that I know I would be more than happy doing so I won't be wasting my time if I do opt for the Uni route! Once you are a qualified teacher and have completed your NQT year, you are qualified for life so I'd always have that to fall back on if I didn't get much acting work or decided the acting industry wasn't for me.
If I do go for this option, I will not be giving up on my dreams. There are so many drama and music opportunities in Brighton which I would definitely get involved in and, like I said before, I would keep auditioning and gaining as much acting/singing experience as possible.
One final reason for choosing this route is that I have fallen in love with Brighton and would simply love to live there!

Of course, I have my doubts... I am so happy at the moment and really don't want to leave my work (I will miss my babies so much!) and friends behind. There's certainly a part of me that thinks 'what's the rush? I'm happy where I am and University isn't going anywhere'. However, I think I know deep down that I need to move on to a new adventure soon - but there's no way my Oxfordshire folk are getting rid of me too easily, so don't get your hopes up haha! There's still plenty of time for me to change my mind, but this is what my thinking is at the moment.

Gotta have faith

As always, it is my faith in God that keeps me vaguely chill! As I spoke a lot about in my posts 'Worth the risk?' and 'Coming Back From Rejection', I believe that God has a plan for my life and so, however scary things might get, he's got things under control. These are a couple of verses that I have found really helpful over the past couple of weeks:

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering though a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us." - 1 Corinthians 13 (MSG)

"Even if I walk through a very dark valley, I will not be afraid, because you are with me... Surely your goodness and love will be with me all my life." - Psalm 23

I know that even if I stray from God's plan and follow the 'wrong' path for my life, he is bigger and he will always find me and set me back on course.

Retreat and reflect

I am thinking of organising a couple of days away staying with family as a way of clearing my head. I think it will be really beneficial for me to retreat from my usual day-to-day to reflect and pray about this whole situation so I can feel a bit more confident that I'm doing the right thing! I am so grateful that my weekday work schedule works on my terms and so I'm in a position to move things about so that I can hopefully escape for a couple of days!

The here and now

Despite feeling that I need to be thinking about/planning the future and making big decisions, I am also doing my best to 'be in the moment' and appreciate everything that's happening at the moment or is planned for the next few months. The people I am surrounded by at the moment are amazing and make every day fun, I am always taking new opportunities, I love my work (not something everyone can say so I try not to take it for granted!), I have two trips to Ireland to see the family - and a holiday to Cannes booked, I'm performing in The Hired Man in 6 weeks (BUY TICKETS Y'ALL)... so there's lots to look forward to before September is upon me!




Thank you so much for reading this post! I apologise for the fact that this whole dilemma I find myself in is probably very boring for anyone who isn't me! I will be back to writing about more general topics now. If you're going through something similar however, I hope that I can encourage you to not worry about having all the answers - just take everything a day at a time.

Love,
Katie xxx

Just touched down in London town...

Whenever I think of London, I can't help but start singing the classic tune: American Boy (hence the slightly random title - it had to be done). This week I 'touched down in London town' three times in the space of four days and so I thought I would write about these mini adventures.

Sunday 12th - LAMDA

Sunday was the day of my final drama school audition, this one was at LAMDA (London Academy of Music and Drama). During my time at school I took the LAMDA acting exams, finishing with the Acting Grade 8 Gold Medal for which I was awarded a Distinction (one of the things in my life that I'm most proud of lol). I learned so much from these exams and so really wanted to try to get the opportunity to train there. However, as with the other places I auditioned for this year, it is so insanely competitive - particularly for girls in their first year of trying. As always though, I gave it my best shot and had a good experience there - although when I came out I felt that it hadn't been enough. Sure enough, on Wednesday evening I received an email to say they couldn't offer me a place this year. So there we have it, my auditions are over. I need a bit of time to process this and think about what the next step is and then I will be writing about my plans.

The crucial pre-audition nerve calming cup of tea.

LAMDA's building is gorgeous.

Tuesday 14th - Galentines

Tuesday was much more relaxed and enjoyable! My friends Darcy, Tabby, and I took a spontaneous trip to London together. Before we went we said we'd do some shopping but then go and visit the National Portrait Gallery and be all cultured... Yeah that didn't quite work out. We just shopped all day in Oxford Street... NO SHAME. It was so nice to completely have some time off and really enjoy each others company. We are all so busy and rarely get to spend time as a trio these days but, amazingly, we had a day off fall at the same time - hooray!

Bus life

I bought lots of fab new clothes but no mugs thanks to the mother haha!

Just the guy from the Great Pottery Throwdown (Keith Brymer Jones) making some pottery in a shop window! Only in London aha!

My gorgeous girls.

Thank you to Darcy and Tabby for the most wonderful day... I love you both and am grateful for our Galentines celebrations (who needs a fella when you have your gals, amma right?)

Wednesday 15th - MYCO Trip

On Wednesday MYCO (the Musical Youth Company of Oxford) took a trip to London to visit the Imperial War Museum and to watch 'The Book of Mormon' in the West End. The museum visit was to do some research for our show 'The Hired Man' that we're working towards at the moment. The musical covers WW1 time and part of the story-line focuses on how war affected Britain's working class. I found the visit very informative and moving. It has definitely helped me to relate to my character and appreciate what it would have been like for her to see her son and husband go to war - from the pride and excitement at the start, to the horror that followed.

The Imperial War Museum and a beautiful sky.

Post-museum tea pit-stop featuring Abi.

 After the museum visit and a lunch break, it was on to watch The Book of Mormon at the Prince of Wales Theatre. I have wanted to see this show for so long so was beyond excited to finally get to see it! It's fair to say I was not disappointed. I can't remember the last time I laughed that much watching anything. It was so, so hilarious and the standard of talent was on another level - everything from the acting to the singing to the dancing to the comedic timing. I loved every single second and desperately wanted to sing a long! If you've never seen it I would highly recommend it - although be prepared as it's controversial to say the least!

Interval excitement: Finlay, Amber, and my shining forehead.

Of course, I loved the museum and theatre visits but what made this trip so special was the people I was with. MYCO has welcomed me with open arms and I am so grateful. I loved every moment of chats, laughs, and of course singing along to musical tunes on the way home. I have so much love for you all.

Please get your tickets for our show which we're performing from 11th-15th April this year at the Theatre at Headington before they sell out! You can buy them here. Here's one of my favourites from the rehearsal shots... poor Dan having to be dragged off stage by the scruff of the neck - fun for me but not so much for him!

Thank you as always for reading. If you read my blog regularly, please click the little 'Follow' button - it's free! And would mean a lot to me.

Love,
Katie xxx

A Letter to My Grandad

It's my Grandad's birthday today and so I got to thinking about him and realised there are so many things that I've never told him. It seems ridiculous that we only really reflect on the impact someone has had on our lives in private, without ever actually telling them. So here is a letter to my Grandad that he can read: one in which I reflect on what he has done for me, the things I love about him, and the things I'm looking forward to in the years to come.

Dear Grandad,

Where to start... I suppose I'd better start with what is of course the most important thing you have given me: my love of Ireland! Technically I'm half-Irish but I often feel that the Irish blood in me outweighs that of the English haha! I could eat spuds for every meal, I drink a glass of milk with dinner every night (I'm not sure if this is even an Irish thing but you do it too... maybe we're both just slightly odd?), I get way too emotionally invested in the prospects of the Irish rugby team, I know more of the words to the Irish national anthem than those of the English one, I believe that 'I'll put the kettle on' is the phrase to solve all of life's problems, and I wear this hat you bought me with true pride.

Even you look embarrassed to be seen with me wearing this haha!

I'm definitely a home bird but Ireland is one place I can see myself moving to in the future. I can't wait to get back over to Dublin in December to get together with the whole Ledden clan!

Another thing that you have passed on a love for is Frank Sinatra. Some of my earliest memories of you consist of you singing 'Fly Me To The Moon' in your strong Dublin accent. When I was little I would sing it around the house in that same Dublin accent because that was the only way I had heard it sung! Now I love all his music and have also developed a passion for other music like his - play me some Nat King Cole or Ray Charles any day.

Grandad you have always been my biggest fan and your encouragement means more to me than I could ever say. I'm sure you end almost every phone call and visit by saying "don't forget me when you're a star... throw me a few bob when you're rich and famous" which never fails to crack me up... like I could ever forget you, famous or not! And don't worry I'm writing all my songs down in a book so I can sell it for millions one day like you always say aha!
More importantly however, you always tell me to follow my dreams. It is the best feeling in the world knowing that you will love and support me whatever I do; I know that you just want me to be happy.

Speaking of encouragement, the way you have always told me I'm beautiful and that I must have a whole line of chaps after me is great for a girl's self-confidence! Sorry to disappoint in the male department however (no, for the last time, Raymond is not my boyfriend!). But of course, you know I'm going to marry George Ezra one day so we can all look forward to that.
In all seriousness though, any future romantic partners of mine are definitely going to have to get your approval!

Another thing that I want to thank you for is the inspiration you have been, and continue to be, to me. Amongst many great things, you have faced some terrible trials in your life. From having to leave school and support your family at 14 (when I was 14 the most I had to look after were my two guinea pigs!) to so many serious injuries and illnesses I lose count - yet you have taken it all in your stride. Of course, it was all tough, but I have NEVER heard you complain despite the fact that you live in pain from your various injuries and accidents. During my years of illness, this fighters spirit you show was a huge inspiration to me and I did my best to be as brave as you (I don't think I did a very good job though, I complained a lot!) I know you'll probably hate me for writing about this stuff but I don't think people tell you how amazing you are enough - most other people would have completely lost their marbles had they been through everything you have.

Finally, and on a much lighter note, I want to thank you for all the laughs. We're always up for the craic when we're together and I love joking about with you - although I'm still not sure I've forgiven you for scaring the living daylights out of me when you gave me a fright to try and get rid of my hiccups a few months back (but then, it did work, to be fair).

So, Bernard Patrick Ledden, my wonderful Grandad, here's to many more laughs, sing-a-longs, pints of Guinness, glasses of milk, and Irish rugby victories in the future.

All my love,

Katie




Thank you as always for reading, go and tell someone you love how you feel about them today. GO. NOW.

Love,
Katie xxx

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